Dear Frank…

Words of Wisdom from an Industry Veteran:


Dear Frank,

How do you get people to leave your bar after the lights come on and it’s quarter past one on a weeknight?

-Tired in Tiverton


Dear Tired,

One can do a few things to get people to leave.

First, turn the lights up on high to make it as bright as you can.  Next, make sure all bartender and servers stay out from behind the bar.  If people see you cleaning up and you’re behind the bar they feel they can con you into serving them one more drink.

Then wipe down the tables, rails, shelves and any other place where one might place their drink.  The trick here is to use something that has the strong smell of bleach, like a mix of half bleach and half water in a spray bottle.  This trick has always worked for me.

One more thing: ask your patrons, “Why there are so many police cars going up and down the street?  And does anyone know if they are stopping every third car?” Then shout out a nice warning to all: “There are a lot of police out tonight so please, let’s all leave now before the traffic thins out. You all know your luck – if you’re the last out, odds are YOU WILL BE THE ONE THE POLICE CATCH!”

Thank for asking,

Frank J. Faubert


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